In a moment of clarity see us straining to love one another with all we have.  But we are two images unaware of our porousness, our need and lack.  As love grew more difficult we proceeded to look within, imagining WE had the power to love one another through our fears, our hurts and needed healings.  So we strained and stressed, eyes focused on the goal.  Committed to being better, becoming more, loving more.  Trying to build a foundation of love upon our selves, two greatly porous people.    But our fixation kept us from seeing our greatest need.  HIM.

Our commitment to being all that the other person needed exposed an error in our beliefs.  For we can do nothing outside of Christ, but with Him we can do ALL things.   It exposed our beliefs that we thought we could actually be everything, that we could actually make ourselves better, and that we could actually heal the other persons hurts on our own.  These misaligned beliefs, fears and even the need to make it, kept us from the position of humility.  Oh but the graciousness of the Lord.  He sent Paul, His servant to speak on this, reminding us of His power, faithfulness and reason for joy.  Paul reminded us that he will "boast all the more gladly about his weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Cor. 12:9 and that "we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5 Our very porousness is not something to be filled with shame over, but to praise God for.  For he has always loved us as broken people and continues to.  We are to look to Him to be the foundation and source in all things as we did on the first day we welcomed Him in.  To adopt a belief that we no longer need to be dependent upon Him is contrary to everything we believe but find ourselves doing with ease.  It is our very need as heirs to continuously be filled with His identity, which Jesus died in order to share with us, and to humbly accept His grace of abundant provision.


So I will praise God for my weaknesses. For it is only through Him that our porous selves become filled. Each day, being shaped in the image of Christ, each day being thankful for how he made us so His glory can be revealed. So I will praise Him; for my fears, my insecurities, that I processes things slowly, am deeply emotional and am hurting from this hopefully temporary loss. I praise God for my love's confusion, fears, impatience, wrestling and withdrawal. And I pray that, "Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith—that we, being rooted and grounded in love may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ 
that surpasses knowledge, that we may be filled with all the fullness of God." Eph. 3:17-19  And I will thank Him that we are not yet healed and praise Him that we are separated.  For "we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28